WHY THE NETFLIX MOVIE 'THE KING' IS A PILE OF GARBAGE

Not my words... but probably true

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If you know me a little, or a lot, you will be aware that I have a complicated relationship with the Netflix movie The King, which purports to tell the story of Henry V and the battle of Agincourt.

I want to like The King. I have tried to like The King. I have watched certain bits of The King at least a hundred times. I can recite by heart, and in a ludicrous French accent, the bit where The Dauphin, played by Robert Pattinson, explains to Henry V (Timothée Chalamet) that he is going to kill him and bury him under a tree.

In that sense, The King lives rent-free in my head and has done for years.

But when it comes down to it, I find that The King mostly makes me uptight and a bit sad. I think that’s because it tries to do several incompatible and unwise things at once.

I’ll try to explain what they are and why they suck.