ROYAL BROTHERS AT WAR
Princes Harry and William wrestling in the kitchen is cool, but have you ever tried the Middle Ages?
According to extracts from Prince Harry’s forthcoming His Royal Misery memoir, leaked overnight, a few years ago poor old Harry had a nasty falling out with his elder brother, Prince William.
This was such a violent encounter that Harry got his necklace broken and fell on a dog bowl. This gave him Negative Feelings, which was bad at the time, but good in the long run, because Negative Feelings From The Past mean that Harry still has something to sell.
Other revelations from the book include the news that Harry lost his virginity behind a pub and was duped by a psychic - although these were two different episodes. We learn that he also did coke, dressed up as a Nazi and killed a bunch of people. Again, not at the same time.
As historians, can we put this into perspective? With regard to the brotherly feuding between ‘Willy’ and ‘Harold’, I think we can. More to the point, we should.
Here, then, are my top five fraternal feuds from the Middle Ages.
Executive summary
The Middle Ages were much more exciting than today.
Robert Curthose vs Henry I (1077-1134)
Robert Curthose was the eldest son of William the Conqueror, but never succeeded him as king - largely due to his constant beefing with his brothers, William Rufus and Henry I. The trouble started in 1077 when William and Henry threw the contents of a chamber pot on Robert’s head. Robert didn’t see the funny side, and took even more umbrage when their father failed to take his side. Robert rebelled, starting a war that lasted several years.
On his deathbed, William the Conqueror awarded Robert the duchy of Normandy, and in 1096 Robert went off on the First Crusade. When he got back he found his youngest brother Henry had claimed the crown of England. More war followed. In 1106 Henry defeated Robert at the battle of Tinchebray, confiscated Normandy, took Robert prisoner and stuck him in Devizes Castle, then Cardiff Castle, for the rest of his life. Robert died in 1134, still in jail.
You broke my necklace rating: 4/5
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